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Artery..............The study of paintings.
Benign..............What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria............Back door to cafeteria.
Barium...............What doctors do when patients die.
Caesarean Section... A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan..............Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize............Made eye contact with her.
Colic....................A sheep dog.
Coma...................A punctuation mark.
D&C.....................Where Washington is.
Dilate....................To live long.
Enema...................Not a friend.
Fester...................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.....................A small lie.
Genital....................Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail..................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent...................Distinguished-well known.
Labour Pain.............Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid.......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates......................Cheaper than day rates.
Node...........................I knew it.
Outpatient...................A patient who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis...........................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...........A place to do upholstery.
Rectum.........................Damn near killed 'em.
Secretion......................Hiding something.
Seizure.........................Roman emperor.
Tablet............................A small table.
Terminal illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour..........................More than one.
Urine.............................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose.......................Near by.

Sorry ladies and germs, but I'm married to a nurse, and she made me post these.
 
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